Monday, December 24, 2012

The ultimate noise of Christmas

'So, there's uncle Bill, Jenny, Victoria, Tony, their kids..and...'

'don't be stupid, he'll never wear that, he hates brown'/
his car is brown and I thought...'

'oh, aren't they lovely!!!! they are.. let's get 5'

                ~'last Christmas I gave you my heart..'~

'..listen.. stop calling me! you made it very clear that...aha...yeah I know should have never ...'

'This is a customer announcement: Sainsbury's would like to wish all customers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year'

'Get some Tums for Mum she's always sick after Christmas lunch'

'..the ones with the dots?..or the stripy ones?'

'Gill! Gill it's me! Hi darling are you bringing your chiwawas this year? you are.......what do they eat?'

'No, you backed into me,  you dickhead, look at the fucking bumper'

'...and then he said he loved me and he'll stay in touch..'

'If you think I'll sit next to your sister you are so wrong: she talks with her mouth full and never listens to a word I say..she's a eating machine'

'after eights? ferrero rocher or thorntons specials? hello?? hellooo?? you're breaking up..'

                 ~ 'have yourself a merry little Christmas..'~

'can't man..I'm skint..'

'I always wanted that jacket but not in blue..i prefer the ox-blood../ yeah, ox-blood suits you..'


'this is a customer announcement: we would like to apologise for the queues and thank all our customers for their patience, we are now operating at full capacity: check out 13, 14 and 15 are now open'

'mummy that man farted'

'do you have the fluffy slippers in black with pink, not the ones with the bow on the top..'

'oh, shut up, you haven't got a clue..'

                ~'jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way'~

'..did you see that cow on isle 7? the one in a red jumper..she put in her trolley a dozen boxes of mince pies..'

'we'll get goose this year/
 I hate goose/
we'll get goose and you'll love it..'

'that would be 375 pounds and 66 pence'

'Jesus Christ'

' have reached the end of your conveyor. please mind your ..'

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